GONE

I’m a Pisces – I hate the water, no that’s a lie, I hate to swim – yeah, that’s it!

I know how to swim, I used to swim a lot – we had a pool and all that happy shit. Why have I grown to despise swimming - I don’t know why – another answer I’m sure I’ll search for. Maybe I lost my interest in swimming when my mom almost drowned on a mini family vacation. Luckily, I could swim well and fairly strong, strong enough to pull my mom from the current dragging her under. She never forgot that moment – neither did I. My mom hid her feelings by bitching, complaining how she lost her new fuckin shades! It’s all good though, I knew she was thankful.

So, this Pisces stuff… It’s the oldest sign in the Zodiac the last of the sign in the Zodiac cycle. What does this mean? Well, let me share what a good friend tried so hard to convey to me.

Juliet was a good one, smart, cmu girl (I told you I have a thing for intelligent women), and down – ghetto style. At some point in my past I ended up having a fling with Jules, nothing serious though. She was moving to Cali to complete her law degree, I was in a conundrum in my life. Our problems brought us together, sharing thoughts and feelings in regards to MAKING changes in your life and life changing you. She knew me well, too well; she knew how I’d “grind”. Day and night, dropping off packages from across the boarder – only from them Canadians, weighing them propa – burners, stash houses, fronts and expensive lawyers. Californians and sunshine, GPS in the car and the driver who needs money for his kid.

Yes, I was involved in some shit – 7 years worth – piling it up – piling it higher.

Anyways, Jules caught me when I started thinking my current life wasn’t working for me – stressed, vexed. She’s been in my room, she knows. She starts asking me questions about my religious beliefs, religious interests, psychic stuff (ever been to one?). I really had to think, I needed to listen – she asked some odd but thoughtful questions. She goes into my life drama and how my zodiac sign describes my situation in past and present tense. Pisces have experiences from all previous Zodiac signs, something that adds to their depth of character, life experience. She told me that my current drama is part of my inner journey, something I must make on my own. My life and the various masks I’ve worn all hold significant meaning to me, guide me, push me, and shape me. You see, Pisces being the oldest sign makes them the oldest soul, they've been through alot. She told me I needed to be aware of this and how it’s pushing me in some direction – a direction I can choose. She knew of my abnormal upbringing, ghetto fabulous into “my so called life” episode unfolding in my eyes and mind. She could hear through my words where I wanted to be, who I wanted to be. She told me I’ve been living in an illusory world and that I needed to deal with reality, myself and the root of my problems: lack of a father, my choices in friends, my career, love. These are things I pushed to the back of my mind for many, many years. I knew of them, aware but unable to cope or deal – that was THEN, this is NOW.