Sometimes I get “blinded by the lights” – not too often though. You know, getting caught up in the moment(s) that have significant impact on your life and others. I have a friend who feels like he's gazed into the sun too long and feels blinded by the lights… people pushing by, he’s alone, walking into the night.
JP and I are mates from ye ole dayz – old days where we thought you could piss-out a fire; too young to realize when you play with fire you get burned (along with 80% of your backyard). Now we piss-out fires with drunken debauchery, only the finest of intoxicating beers – something we both do propa – not escapism – more of a tool to bring out the topics or problems at-hand. JP and I did the long distance toast, he’s on his lunch break and I’m preparing to translate my thoughts into techno. The topics weren’t foreign, we both knew the deal. “Dude, you’re an asshole” – I swears it’s one of the few things I remember about our conversation; plus his quiet moments regarding his recent loss. 5 year relationships require a lot – work, effort, time, money, emotions… especially when there’s the l word involved – love, not lust. JP’s been involved with his version of a “dream girl” – some may consider it a rarity. How rare is it for you to meet someone whom you enjoy spending oodles of time with… someone who makes you laugh, cry, blah blah blah. Is it really *THAT* rare – do you get to a point where you’re blinded by comfort, stability, or desperation? Realization is a bitch! JP is heading in one direction, his girl is going in another – not something new for JP – dude has previous experience with said emotions. 8 years ago he fell in love with another woman; again, someone he thought was special. They both knew the deal ahead of time; eventually she’d move back to Germany. What neither of them considered was the level of emotional involvement they’d both put into their relationship. They never dealt with the end result or potential end result. I know this story first hand; many nights I heard JP elaborate on his feelings, her feelings and what he should do, think, say… Not something I can easily comment on without applying my own bias attitude. Again, I’m hearing the same stuff coming from my celly but there's a difference - JP is feeling down but not out. Blinded, yes, however he can still see – and that’s important! JP and Mary have closure, each accepting what lay in front and behind them. Here’s the thing JP realized, the main difference between now and then – he’s dealing with the feelings and decisions they’ve made (it takes 2 to do the relationship tango). He’s not avoiding them, hoping they’ll catch a plane to Germany before shit hits the fan – which is exactly what happened before! It sucks when your shit comes back to America and hits you in the face, forcing you to clean up or bask in the stench. He chose to clean up a mess that was long overdue. We moved on to a few other points; he asked me about my life and what’s new with me. I go into some details about someone I fancy and what's going on in said department. I told him about the Halo 2 tournament I owned, golf and a few new tracks from John Cramer and Stephan K (deep tribal house at it's best) plus other random shit that comes out of my mouth (no thanks to my brain). We talked a bit more about our current situations and lifestyles, bouncing around other topics – laughing, swearing, making fun of, and being guys – male bonding at it’s finest. It's good to see or at least think you make a difference for other people. I know I've been on myself to deal with things, JP commented on my latest and greatest emotional feat - encouraging. He's one of the few people that still call me JJ.
True friends are a real rarity – the people you can only count on one hand. I’m sure it varies for all of us… I’ve learnt that I’m special, I’m rare – so are the millions of other people in the world. Taking the time to have a heart-to-heart conversation brings out plenty of infomration about a person; good traits, flaws, experiences. I cant and wont knock anything, I'm all ears ya know? Thats me though - Sure, there will be plenty of special and rare people you meet in this life – how will you spend your time? Will you accept their unique sense, mind and bullshit; maybe you’ll sit still letting the moments pass you by and wondering who the fuck this person is… who will I meet next….
