GONE

One more day, hours now.

I'm headed to work, yes, work. What a dedicated employee I am. Does my company deserve my genuis on a Sunday afternoon, maybe. They do pay my bills! Maybe it was another scheme to see her, again.

My car and it's deflated tire put a slow down on my start. Broken glass. Thanks Michael and Jidu for hooking me up despite my frown. Thanks guys!

Bruuum.. ahh, sounds like the Ayla of old - another hour drive, another thought process.

I'm the man, I can do amazing things. I choose mediocrity at times, other times I choose to push forward with all I've learnt and know; using all of myself to make life better for myself and those around me. I'm a good guy. They know. She?

-> Park

Hypothetical discussions, some serious some lax. It wasnt meant to go so far, it wasnt meant to fall short. A quiet Sunday afternoon in the park always puts a smile on my face. Being with her always puts a smile on my face; even when I imagine she's next to me, looking at me, trying to read my eyes. The sun heats things up...From the tree we found shade, inclined uphill. Relaxed. I'm confessing. I'm thinking. I'm nervous - I'm being myself. I trust you; your actions. The words hurt. I'm hurt - not as much as I thought, not as if I should be.

Time to myself, another hour.

Not much I felt like doing; a Fifa game or 2. Watch Basketball (bullshit calls during OT) and the Family Guy - relax - this is what Sundays are for!

I accidentially fell asleep. I wanted to watch the game, my eyes and mind thought otherwise.

Ring Ring.

Sweet dreams into something other than... Would she have told me at a later date, after more thought and emotion were put into us? Who knows. She had something to say, I could tell. I didnt mind a talk or discussion. I would've minded something...
I put my trust in her; my trust that she'll make propa and sound judgements. What if she doesnt trust herself? Does she not trust herself around me? I thought she feels comfort around me, dont you need trust to feel comfortable? I thought she felt alot from me; we've shared those moments where our eyes lock. She's enjoying me and I'm enjoying her, good times or harder times?

I've already put my rubber-band on to remind me of what I shouldnt say. I've looped it twice to remind me what I should say.

I know what I should do. I dont need anyone to tell me, not all the time. I'm blind at times, needing a smack from Mr Obvious. Maybe I'll smack back. Maybe I'll let the advice go in one ear and out the other. Either way, I have an idea of what I need to do; I know what I want! I wouldnt have taken things so far if I wasnt sure; if I didnt trust you or myself. Now...

I feel like destroying something / I feel like building something.

I only hope you understand.