GONE

Alright - the hate switch is off, I'm not as jaded as I thought. I needed time to clearly think and listen. Thanks Common, Thanks Adrienne. More to think about; slowly, cautiously, patiently - dont rush. Enjoy. Be.

I'm sure I'll be ok with my living situation. Nervous about the unknown and awaiting a decision. I'm checked out, good to go.

Yes, I miss my hour. I'll get my time back soon, very soon. I wonder if I'll miss my thoughts during my hour. I wonder about alot of things... I know life will get better, improving gradually. I'm being patient, my newly mastered skill. These self tests, gradual learning processes and practice will benefit me now and longterm. I'm still learning though, I know more than I did before.

I'm glad I've sat back to think about my decisions, feverishly firing off text messages. Thanks for your help Brian. Of all the close friends I've have and lost(all 5 of you) Brian's and my bond still remains strong. True, our lives changed paths many years ago. He saw me for me, all the complex and dramatic shit I've done, all the schemes, lies and bullshit. Thanks for seeing me for me during all the ill, you knew I was capable of better things - thanks for believing! Our conversations helped clear up alot of short circuits in my mind, thanks again B. I'm glad I was able to provide alot of advice for you, please use it to the best of your ability - I know you will. You've already made a steps in "that" direction...

Props to Adam a.k.a Saksun Simpson (he sticks by his story) a.k.a Da Rookie - Thanks dickhead! Kind words of wisdom exchanged with profanity. Funny how we've come so far from the old days, old ways when crime payed. On to bigger and better "things".

Good luck tomorrow although it sucks to be you (hahaha). Thanks for the invite though. I wish we could make it down and enjoy the wind, sun and scene. I know she'll thank you for thinking of her, she thanks me. Have fun with Patricia this week and weekend, talk about serious time! Best to you d00d!

My brother Danny... thanks for your "check up". You know I'd do more for you if I could. All I can do is give brotherly advice and tell you about my experiences in life.

So I had to did, what I had to did....

"I want to be as free as the spirits of those who left
I'm talking Malcom, Coltrane, my man Yusef
Through death through conception
New breath and resurrection
For moms, new steps in her direction
In the right way
Told inside is where the fight lay
And everything a nigga do may not be what he might say
Chicago nights stay, stay on the mind
But I write many lives and lay on these lines
Wave the signs of the times
Many say the grind's on the mind
Shorties blunted-eyed and everyone wonderin' where I'm
Bush pushing lies, killers immortalized
We got arms but won't reach for the skies
Waiting for the Lord to rise
I look into her eyes
And realize that I'ma learn through her
The Messiah, might even return through her
If I'ma do it, I gotta change the world through her
Furs and a Benz, gramps wantin 'em
Demons and old friends, pops they hauntin' him
The chosen one from the land of the frozen sun
When drunk nights get remembered more than sober ones
Walk like warriors, we were never told to run
Explored the world to return to where my soul begun
Never looking back or too far in front of me
The present is a gift
and I just wanna BE..."

Thanks