GONE

Ever get the feeling as if you're unstoppable? Not HULK style, not rage or anything negative. I'm saying, what if you were involved in an activity that required your full attention physically and mentally - have you ever felt that way? Specifically, playing a sport, video game, professionally, whatever gets you off... For me, those are the activities that put me in the unstoppable mindset.

Yesterday I played tennis, motivation from Wimbledon. I used to play tennis, frequently, semi-professionally. You could say I burnt out but I'd feel better if we'd say I realized I had potential to do "other" things with my life. I'm good at tennis. I'm not going to brag or build my ego, but, I can play with the best of them...

So, I'm playing yesterday, going through the motions. Hitting winners, serving aces and having a good game. At one point, I think it was during the 4th game, I realized I could do no wrong. I executed shots I havent done in years, hard shots to pull off; running forehands, backhand topspin angle shots and a variety of tricky spin shots. I was unable to miss a shot, money! I felt this intensity in my eyes and mind, my body anticipated my opponents shots; being in the zone! I felt hungry, like a lion stalking / hunting his prey, waiting for that moment to move in for the kill.

unstoppable.

My body and my mind functioning as one; I was able to see and realize what I missed. I loved it, I want more of that feeling. I like to feel confident and figure myself as a confident person. I feel I'm able to do whatever I SERIOUSLY put my mind and body towards. What do you think?

How to apply this state of consciousness productively and professionally is what I'm learning. I'm hungry career-wise. I'm hungry in my personal life - I've not felt this way in years! I know I havent felt this way playing a sport either, not even golf (and I love golf). I know I havent felt this personal drive in a long, long time. Why today, why during this match? What's going on in my life...

Chess tennis, maybe? I play my life like a game of chess; maybe I see other angles.

If you cant go through go around.
If you cant go around go under.
If you cant go under go over.
If you cant go over go through.

Product = tennis ball
Placement = shot selection, angles and the ability to make the angles / shots

Result = playing with my whole ability, in the zone. unable to focus on anything other than my current activity, unstoppable with my activity / actions.

***

Another example on my "unstoppable" feeling is when I'm spinning records. Maybe it's the alcohol and bit of ganj, but, I'm able to feel the beat(s). I'm able to determine which instrument, chord and bpm coming from the records making for some sick ass mixing. It's remarkable, it's amazing.. I smile and dance! I feel (during these "unstoppable" times) that I'm able to manipulate each instrument to my liking; tweaking, fading, scratching and blending my way to perfection. Sure, I may mess up or start to slip but my confidence puts me back on track - that's important - confidence!

Product = records
Placement = how and when I cue up the next track

Result = flawless mixing, excellent blends. Me, feverishly dancing and fist pumping!

I'm always craving this feeling, this confidence. It makes me feel alive, like I can do no wrong. As if I'm meant to do said activity at said time... makes me wonder.

***

Now I wait patiently for her, eager to touch her, longing to be with her. I dont have much longer to wait, neither does she. Why am I falling....

Dont pick me up, let me be. Dont forget me, miss me. Close your eyes and you'll see me.