GONE

Yeah, it was supposed to be sooo easy; pick up car, take renter back, testdrive.

No.

Never as simple as you want it to be.

So, now I'm roughly 1500 less wealthy. Unfortunately, car insurance doesnt hurry with their check... let me miss one payment and they're on my ass. O well. I'll get "mine" one day - probably when I least expect it. Although, I'd like to know...

...and I got my car.

Yeah, I _know_ I fell in love with her again, first sight too. I never put much stock in it though, love at first sight. I leaned back, grinning. She looked beautiful, shiny, new car smell... I couldnt wait to put the top down.

It felt really good to get into my car, Ayla. I felt safe, luxurious and cool (yeah, I felt cool). I realized why I bought the car, what attracted me...

...even with her accident and those moments I thought I'd trade her in, or worse, that I lost her. She's back in my hands, magical and tender.

Then I had a long chat with mom-dukes. I feel like I dont have much face time with the fam since I'm no longer "in da cut". I made up for though, heartfelt talks and bonding. Laughter and those moments that make you thankful to have family around (regardless of how dysfunctional or functional).

peace

...and the drive home, lovely. Banging. Chill.

Ohh, thats right... Remember I said I had plans with Brian? Well, that got nixed, my doing. I dropped a few nickels for the car on Friday, enough to have me concerned what my bill might be on Saturday. I know Brian was pissed, I could tell from his short and blunt words.

Sorry mate.

I couldnt go out and justify a 50-100 dollar night when I knew I'd have a hefty tab to pay on Saturday, how hefty was still unknown. And yeah, Brian, I'm sorry dude. We talked about this weeks ago. I cant and wont borrow any money, please understand. I have alot of pride, maybe too much. Still, I dont want to borrow money that I know I have. Plus, I dont have a credit card so I'm forced to live within my means. I hope you understand bro....

So, Friday I chilled back. Knowing I wasnt going out was part of the reason I stayed and chatted with mom-dukes. I got home rather late for a Friday night. Once I got in I cracked open the wine, rolled a bomber and prepared for an evening of geeking-out.

...and when I woke

It was Saturday, mom-dukes chirping. "Come home, you have to pay this bill." And the bill, hefty proper at 1g. Add in the oil change, blades, alignment and other things and I easy exceeded what I thought I'd pay.

...and you wonder why I wish it grew on trees.

Maybe it does.

I left early on Saturday not to return until the evening.

...and what I did:
-paid off the renter; piece of shit, pee smelling, no cd-player, worst handling bastard of a car...the Mali. At least I peed on it... Maybe I should've wrecked it a bit more, get my full 9.99 a day insurance to take care of all the damage I _could've_ put on it.

-stopped past Uncle's house. Had a long conversation about his and my career and the professional choices we've made, money, women... life. Hell, my uncle and I sat back like 2 kids from the old days. I got my uncle on the tuff-gong, proper. We bonded, really bonded - different than all the years that have passed.

I never knew why my family would compare me to my uncle, good and bad. After sharing words and thoughts with him I started to understand what I've been told all these years. And no, I'm not a clone, I'm not _like_ my uncle. I'm myself, unique, odd and similar...but not LIKE MY UNCLE. Big difference. If you feel you're like another, a family member or friend then think; if you were that person then you'd already know all the answers to their problems. You'd know what they are truly going through, why they are soo insane, stupid, loving, fatherly...whatever. Feel meh?

...and I know my uncle is Chip and I know I am Jon. I know I am myself, regardless of how many similarities we share. I'm not my father either, regardless of our facial features and bald spot.

I've taken qualities and traits from those I've loved and grew up with, using those observations to help shape my view, my dreams, goals and choices... Thanks!

(exhales a deep breath)

...and back home on Saturday night. More video games, more cleaning. Nothing hardcore either. Just relaxing on the sofa, enjoying a home-body type of weekend.

...and I watched this movie on Sundance. I love the Sundance Channel.

I woke up peacefully, early and well rested. I started cleaning _early_. My start time was earlier than the PGA start time ;-) And I was on the edge of my seat watching golf - damn Jersey weather.

It felt good to clean the house proper. I bounced around, room to room, dancing and singing my way to a dust-free house. Key = making a list AND sticking to it; working from it and seeing those accomplishments. I'm proud of myself and I know my house is loving me.

...And there's still a smell in my living room. I noticed the smell this morning as I prepared for work. ... and candy? Maybe just the candy, for now. I smelled the same fragrance today, at work - memories. And I want to bask in it, surrounded by it... I missed that smell.

The remainder of Sunday was spent lounging, enjoying the summer breeze.

It was good to lay back with Joy, talking and expressing emotions of the weekend. It was good, memorable. Thank you. And I got to work my nimble fingers again...

I keep it well 'fee', watered and chill.

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